Book Review: "What My Mother And I Don’t Talk About" by Ana Mestas

When I read just the introduction of this book, I cried. What My Mother And I Don’t Talk About edited by Michele Filgate is a collection of 15 essays written by various authors and each essay features a story about their mother. Each essay is brutally honest in its own way, some people had beautiful, ever-flourishing relationships with their mothers while others were completely estranged from them. This book tackles the idea of what it means to look at your mother as more than just a mom, to look at your mother as the person she was before, during, and after you. 

Carmen Maria Machado writes about her difficult relationship with her mother and their estrangement since she came out as a lesbian. Nayomi Munaweera writes about accepting the difficulties and unfairness of her childhood while still respecting her parents for providing her with what they could. Each essay examines mothers in a different light, whether they are: talkative, introverted, narcissistic, abusive, or amazing. Michelle Filgate delves into the unanswerable question of what it means to be a mother, a daughter, and a son. 

Those of us who are lucky enough to have mothers are often unappreciative of everything they do for us. As cliche as it sounds, it is true that most people behave their worst around their mother. It is so easy to see your mother as just ‘your mom’ but mothers are humans and women first. Every essay in this book was eye-opening as it shows how we are forever attached to our mothers. This book made me want to call my mom and tell her I love her, and I know that is not the case for everyone but I think if you want to and are able, you should call yours too. When was the last time you asked your mom what her favorite color was?