"Until I Found You" by Maribel Tale Rodriguez ('24)

She was scared to fly alone

Her wings had scars that weren’t healed

Things did not seem to fulfill her heart

Her past kept on begging her to stay

She found herself lost in millions of smiles

Her hands

Her legs

Her heart

Her body

Were chained to her past.

* * *

The sun was bright and touched your skin and woke up your petals, just like it did for Ik’. It was a big day for Ik’, it was her first day of the high school year. She went to school earlier than anyone else. She had been asked to guide her fellow students and let them know what their first class of the day was. After that, she went to first-period class. She wore blue jeans, a dark blue shirt, and Vans shoes. She carried a black leather bag. It was the size she wanted: not too big, not too small. She put on her earbuds and she put on the music that made her feel like she mattered; the song was “Warrior” by Chloe x Halle. As she walked through the hallways of her school, her steps were tiny yet powerful. People seemed to stop and stare, wondering how an ordinary girl could be able to be involved in so many things at their school. Some admired her but others were only pretending to. As Ik’ walked through the hallway she heard her name being called out. She nodded in acknowledgment and then she moved her hand up pointing at the sky to greet them. Over and over. Each time she nodded, she thought to herself how weird she could be and giggled.

Ik’ walked up the stairs to the fourth floor. She saw her friends there waving and smiling and welcoming her. They all sang “hi” until they ran out of breath and then ran to hug each other. They kinda looked like the mean girls in the movies but none of them were mean. They were not perfect friends, but they were already there for each other. When one of them was sad, the rest would do very silly things to make them laugh. Ik’ was there for anyone who needed any kind of support. She had been through a lot herself and there were many situations where she did not have anyone who could help her, so she promised herself if anyone was in need, she would be there for them. They looked at their class schedules and realized none of them were in the same class throughout the year and they all pouted.

The bell rang, and they all ran in opposite directions. Ik’ got to her class, everyone stared at her, some people waved and some people didn’t.

She had a successful first day of school.

As the year kept moving, she got to know her classmates very well, but she was also distancing herself from her group of friends that she used to spend all lunchtime with. She had reasons and she kept them to herself. There were two guys in her class whom she had never talked to before. They made her laugh, they made her forget why she had never really had a deep conversation with a boy. She stayed after school to do her homework and to do extra credit, and they would stay with her. The two guys introduced her to their other friends who were boys. Soon enough, she started seeing them as her best friends and she thought that they saw her that way too. She had a big group of boys as friends, something she never thought she was going to be able to do. They all protected her, and there were times when it was unnecessary. She got annoyed sometimes because she was very independent--she did most things by herself--and she believed that she could protect herself.

On a Monday morning, she was wearing a white dress that was full of flowers and butterflies. She walked the hallways again, saluting everyone with a smile and hand wave. She was about to pass her counselor’s office when she heard him saying “hi.” Ik’ turned around to look at her counselor, her long shiny black hair covered her back making it seem like she had a cape. What she did not know was that the counselor had company: it was two boys. One of the boys and Ik’ exchanged glances. The butterflies on her dress lifted from the soft fabric and covered each inch of space between her and the boy. Their facial emotions were mysterious to each other and they both could not understand each other’s feelings at that moment. Then, she heard a voice saying, “Did you miss him?” and it was her counselor. Soon, the butterflies glued themselves to her dress again. She responded, “No,” and left. Her group of guy friends met her half of the way. She turned around and saw that the boy was still looking at her. Her friends noticed that morning was different, the sky was crying, they asked her what was going on. They had heard what the counselor asked her. The guy was a mysterious boy to them. Ik’ didn’t respond. She sat down on her chair and did not know how to react to the situation. The boy who bloomed the flowers and had to awaken the butterflies was the only guy she had made an exception for. She let him touch and hold her hand, she let him be closer to her than anyone had been. Ik’ decided to forget what had happened without knowing that something worse was coming her way.

They were 3 girls that she had not spoken to before, they called themselves the triples. It was a lie that waved at Ik’. What was not a lie was that Ik’ bowed her head at everyone for respect. The case was that the three girls said that Ik’ was taking things that belonged to them. They waited for her outside after school, and when she opened the door the triples were there. They smiled at her and waved to Ik’. She thought it was weird that they were smiling, she waved back at them and then crossed the street opposite from where they were. Her guy friends had soccer practice and could not stay with her. The triples also followed her. Ik’ had been facing a problem most of her life. Her case was that she was keeping a secret from everyone, and because of that, the secret became sharp and made a hole in Ik’s heart, and every time she got upset or disappointed, her heart would leak more.

She did not want to get upset with the triples and started to walk as fast as she could. They ran because they weren’t trying to hide what they were about to do. They caught her and folded a piece of fabric and covered her eyes. Their plan was to scare her and to see what they were able to do if she kept on being the way she was with people.

They took her to an old house, it was so old it was breaking apart. It was almost covered with poison oak and Ik’ had no idea that the plant that covered the house was dangerous. It looked like the house that is used in horror movies. They helped her and Ik’ asked them to not leave her because she did not know the way back to the school or her home. The triples ran and it was getting close tonight already. Ik’ decided to stay because she feared what could happen at night in the streets. She got in the house and she was mesmerized by what she had found. The house was full of flowers, there was a rose and waterlily, but there was an even more special one that had the shape of the sun. It was bright and it provided light to the rest of the room. Ik’ explored and she found a fountain that was beautiful that had agua cristalina. The fountain was filled with water that she called eternity. It was surrounded by flowers, some were still blooming. Ik’ felt like she was in a paradise, she was mesmerized with the place. She put her hand tight together and dipped it in the water of the fountain and moved her hands to her dry, cracked lips. It was hot and it tasted like it had a lemon. It was just the water that she needed to fulfill the thirst that she had it felt like she was drinking. When she drank the water she heard a voice calling her name. Ik’ looked around to see who was there but she did not see anyone. “Hello?” she said, and the voice responded with another “hello.” The fountain that Ik’ had found had a soul and could talk to those who found themselves lost. Surprised, Ik’ stayed talking to the soul of the fountain and they had a conversation about life and how things don't always need to be understood. Ik’ felt safe, and for the first time, she told the soul of the fountain about her secret that she had kept to herself. She was finally released from the chains that were tied around her body and found her purpose. She was transformed, her clothes were transformed into a beautiful long dress. Her tulip dress kissed the floors, her chest was relieved from the heavy load and she was filled with the eternal light.